As followers of the modern geopolitical Zeitgeist, last week the Midlife Gardener (in the guise of Garden Gate Flowers) stole a march on The Donald by taking over Greenland. Or, more accurately, some Green Land.  It is not ours (never has been, never will be), but here at MLG we do not quibble over the Art of the Deal or tariffs; and we don’t issue threats or sarcastic tweets; we quietly take our neighbours’ land for pure commercial gain.  We don’t bleat on about security, but instead we consult with the landowners first and only move in when they invite us. So, it is a big thank you to Tony and Pippa (our local Green Landers) for offering us this extra territorial arm of Garden Gate Flowers. 

The territory has no rare earth minerals, oil or gas, so we had to bring our own raw materials and natural resources in the shape of two tons of Revive Soil Conditioner, expertly delivered by Kevin (Wally) Watson to Garden Gate HQ.  It was still hot and smokin’ as we shovelled thirty-one barrowloads of the black stuff to cover the cardboard mulching. Unlike the proverbial horse shit being spewed in Davos this week, we have ordered a trailer load of the real thing, so our beds will soon be well made and ready for planting.

The first occupants of this promised land are likely to be MAGA Snapdragons.  You guessed it, we’re Making Antirrhinums Great Again.  This particular type is Snowflake, which could confuse one world leader. Is this ‘Green Land’ or ‘Ice Land’?

But we wouldn’t make that mistake.  We’re not THAT STUPID.