Monthly Archives: December 2020

We are past the winter solstice and the days will start to lengthen. It is a time to once again look forward, rather than dwell on the present (poor pun, but apt in the case of our reduced, lockdown Christmas).

But one of the benefits of gardening is that it draws you forward, planning and looking ahead to the sunnier times and days of plenty. Even in the cold weather there are warming sights of plants coming through with the promise of spring. Despite being deposited in the sodden clay soil, all the garlic and most of the shallots are rising out of the waterlogged ground like excalibur from the lake. The broad beans, too, are emerging and in the pots by the patio the hastily planted bulbs are doing what is expected of them.

The reduction in festive socialising seems to have led to an increase in quizzes and puzzles which might explain why some of you tried so hard to identify the Chili Peppers songs in the previous post. I am pleased to publish the answers below. I am expecting some VAR-type controversy, particularly as my most competitive brother got involved, so I look forward to the hairline debates over re-mixes, cover versions and whether it was fair to include titles and photo captions in the list of songs.

For the record, Red Hot Chili Peppers were probably Josh’s favourite band, which was my reason for the theme. When he and his mates saw them some years ago, they had initially been disappointed when ‘Soul to Squeeze’ had not been on the playlist…until the encore when the guitar intro found the 6 ft 4 inch Josh suddenly catapulting himself onto the shoulders of 5ft 8 inch Ed, where he stayed for the rest of the track. It’s an image that I held in my head as I wrote it and I am playing the track on loop as I write this.

“Where I go, I just don’t know
I got to, got to, gotta take it slow
When I find my peace of mind
I’m gonna give ya some of my good time”

Happy New Year to you all – find your peace of mind and look to the good times.

36 Red Hot Chili Peppers Songs

Post Title:

1. One Hot Minute
2. Soul to Squeeze

Text:

1. Hey
2. This is the place
3. Desecration Smile
4. Easily
5. She looks to me
6. Otherside
7. By the Way
8. If
9. Storm in a teacup
10. A minor thing
11. Midnight
12. Around the world
13. Road trippin’
14. This Velvet Glove
15. Purple Stain.
16. My Friends
17. Coffee shop
18. Dosed
19. Right on time
20. Turn it again
21. Readymade
22. Transcending
23. Warm tape
24. Deep kick
25. Scar tissue
26. Tearjerker
27. Walkabout
28. We believe

Photos:

1. Dark Necessities
2. They’re Red Hot
3. Under the Bridge
4. Fire
5. We Turn Red
6. Make You Feel Better

“Hey”. It’s Mrs B. We are in the kitchen. She says to me “This is the place I was hoping to prepare dinner”. She has that Desecration Smile (whatever that is) as she looks at what is easily my best ever crop of Red Hot Chilis. She looks to me and then the otherside of the room where a potted plant with small yellow chillies sits on the windowsill. “And by the Way, if you think that plant is staying in here, think again”

The debate is no more than a storm in a teacup. I agree to move the plant, a minor thing, and promise to process the chillies, although I fear it will take till midnight. As usual, I have grown several different varieties of chilli from around the world. To view the plants in the greenhouse was to go road trippin’ through south America and beyond from the brown Machu Pichu to the jewel-like Naga Yellow Blaze. I wonder if I should wear some PPE when chopping and cooking the chillies. I look around – “perhaps this velvet glove” I muse to myself but worry the combination of the brown and red chillies will only leave a purple stain. I decide to risk working without it.

First, chilli jam. We have finished last year’s batch. I gave a lot of it as gifts to my friends and relatives. In a matter of moments the aroma in the kitchen changes from coffee shop to sour smelling distillery, as the vinegar and sugar simmer. I have dosed the sugar with pectin but fail to stir it in properly, so it creates a nasty sludge. I pay for this later when, despite being right on time with the boiling of the jam mixture it refuses to set. I turn it again but finally give in and elect to market the new produce as ‘extra thick chilli sauce’.

I still have plenty of chillies left over and decide to try out my new oven – a readymade chilli dryer. The results are spectacular, transcending even my highest hopes. Some of the chillies had seemed a little low on heat, warm tape in comparison with the fearsome fire I had expected. But when I try the dried versions they have a deep kick that could leave scar tissue on gums and tongues. I chop the Machu Pichu to make chilli flakes. The rest I decide to make into chilli powder and process the dried chillies in an old coffee grinder. Removing the lid releases a fine dust cloud that is a real tearjerker. I go walkabout on the patio till the air clears a little.

But, ultimately, I am pleased with the final products. Mrs B sets up the produce on a tray for the Insta post. We believe the results justify the efforts .

A FREE JAR OF CHILLI JAM-SAUCE TO THE FIRST CORRECT ENTRY NAMING ALL RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS SONGS MENTIONED IN THIS POST.

October used to be my favourite month, but less so, now. This time around the allure for me of birthday treats and the half term break was overshadowed by the tragedy of last year, and twelve months one, we got through the month with a shudder, like a child swallowing a spoonful of malt tonic. The clocks went back and the nights drew in but despite the worsening weather, it has remained, for the most part, steadfastly mild. The high temperatures fooled many of the plants in the garden into thinking that they might simply go on forever. Even at the end of November annuals like the Rudbeckia Marmalade were still in flower, raging against the fake news of winter like Trump denying election results. But winter is coming – just as surely as removals lorries at the White House.

In the Green House, meanwhile, there was initially a glut of green chillis, but then, almost over night red and yellow ones have appeared, like Democrat votes in Pennsylvania and Georgia. It has been a good year for chillis and a new batch of Hot Jam is in the offing. Outside, the squash story is less positive with plenty of early growth, but not too many fruit to be had at the end of it. But, still, we will have enough for roasting when we want some hearty squash soup.

And talking of soup, Mrs B’s favourite recipe – leek and potato – is firmly on the menu, with the potatoes storing well (so far), while the leeks are the best the Midlife garden has produced in years.

By the end of November the garden can look pretty bare and cold so it is heartening to know that, despite appearances, there is still stuff there to be harvested. There is also plenty to look forward to, with garlic and shallots planted in the past month, and in the last fortnight we also got around to planting up bulbs in pots for the spring colour on the new patio. I thought I was a little late with the bulbs, but a quick check of my MLG online diary shows that it was the exact same week that I planted the bulbs last year – and they were very successful. It’s almost like I know what I am doing.

But I know better than to think that.