Like Post-Brexit Britain, the Midlife Garden tries to be a tolerant, outward-facing place to which we welcome all-comers. Robins, wrens and blackbirds have nested in various parts of the garden this summer and any number of moths and butterflies, dragonflies and other insects have made their home in our “bee-friendly” environment. We have even seen hares on the lane outside.

But, just like the modern UK, there are limits to our hospitality. Upon returing from our brief summer break we discovered major problems with border control. In our absence, a plethora (possibly a tidal wave) of invertebrates have been taking advantage of the wealth of the land in the MLG veg patch. Slugs and snails were munching on flower seedlings and vegetables while others were speeding (in snail terms, at least) across the lawn and paths to join them. I pondered where all these migrant munchers were coming from but decided not to enquire too closely and simply put them on a metaphorical flight to Rwanda (to the other side of the road, not the neighbours fence, I hasten to add).

The next day I found a number of stowaways under a plank in the garden. They did not seem happy about the sunshine on their backs, so I bundled them into a potting tray like so many refugees in a floating barge, told them they could F-off back to the hedgerow they come from, and dumped them in the verge opposite.

All this “growing your own”, supplying the home market, is not as easy as it appears. The foreign slugs (“coming over here, eating our vegetables”) have destroyed the last vestiges of any kale (Curly and Cav Nero), as well as, rather ironically, all of the Brussels. Instead, I am going to have to import some young plants from a nursery. Such are the pitfalls when you decide to Take Back Control.

Happily, in the leguminous bed we have a contrasting problem, where the peas, french beans and courgettes are now growing in profusion and abundance. Our lovely neighbours did the watering in our absence and they clearly did a good job, with tomatoes, basil and peppers ripening in the greenhouse too. All we need now is some cheap labour to help pick ’em all.

We are clearly in the season of rain and gluttonous fruitfulness and every menu for the next few weeks will involve an increasingly desperate search for new and different ways to cook beans, tomatoes and courgettes.

It’s not a bad problem to have, in spite of the tsunami of slugs and snails.