A long dry May was rudely interrupted at the end by wet weather which was very welcome in the garden. The veg beds seemed to visibly relax in the damp atmosphere and the plants all shot up as a result (except for the recalcitrant peas, of course).

Under foot the wet weather brought into sharp focus the new rules for the new house over what footwear should be used in which conditions. Like a new season in F1 racing there are fresh combinations of treads to be used when venturing out to the garden. Here they are:

1. Hyper soft (slippers).  Should only be used indoors.  They are still occasionally used when it is very dry and you are only going on the patio or gravel.  This was a risky strategy initially because of the chicken poo that Agatha was leaving around. Now that she is back in her run, there is more opportunity for the hyper soft.
2. Super soft (Crocs).  A choice of footwear that was mocked by my children when I bought some Croc-type plastic shoes.  Now they are noticeably in demand when the kids are home, as they are handy for nipping into the veg patch to get some salad or perhaps do some light watering (the shoes that is, not the kids).
3. Intermediates (old trainers)  If heavier watering is required  and actual weeding these will take more wear and tear than the lighter Crocs.
4. Hards (Hiking boots).  These have the grip and robustness necessary for the heavy digging and can see you through a whole afternoon in comfort.
5. Wets, or Chunkies as they used to be known (wellies).  For the winter rain or summer thunder storms, wellies are still the standard for grip, comfort, and – above all – dryness on the vegetable circuit.

So the right treads for the right conditions – perhaps with a two stop strategy if you change from hyper soft to super softs to wear them to the shed to then put on your wets before taking the dogs for a walk. Woe betide anyone who gets chicken shit on their hyper softs and treads it back on to the living the room carpet.

There will be more than grid penalties for that kind of misdemeanour.

“Gentlemen, start your weeding”